I mentioned this the other day, but I wanted to emphasize that I wanted to remain within the rules concerning Lenore. Happy Memorial Day, everybody! Coming from a military family this is an important holiday for us.
5/23: I arrived at Wendy’s with the household in its usual uproar. This time the occasion was an egg that Rusty and Patina had found in the backyard, which was hatching under the warmth generated by Wendy’s notoriously high-temperature laptop. A tiny, frail baby raven emerged and took immediate notice of my piercing ornaments. It’s really cute.
5/18: After that vastly expensive lunch, Ms. Trellis insisted on taking me to a dress store of my choosing. I knew she would veto Junkman’s Daughter, but I was aware of another place that had high-end Steampunk styles. We spent three hours there, and while I enjoyed the process and was pleased with what I found, I couldn’t help feeling…bought. As I told Wendy, tho, I see any material ownership as just temporary.
I was right. Ms. Trellis is trying to use the gravitation pull of her money and power to pull me away from Wendy’s orbit and adopt her values. (Apparently she tried this with Wendy years ago, without success.) I’ll be watchful.
When we entered the restaurant, the staff played the “Imperial March” theme from “Star Wars” in her honor. She regards it as her theme music, and she once considered buying out Lucasfilm just to get the rights to it.
…And so Guy passed the test, which began with Mother telling him not to sit with his back to the door. Mother then made her own security mistake of letting Guy slip his hand below the table where he was able to access his phone and order flowers to be delivered here. I could tell she was surprised and touched, which would be imperceptible to anyone outside the family. Afterwards she left, probably to annoy one of my siblings in another state.
5/10: At first glance Guy and I may seem very different. However, we share an intrinsic bond: we both grew up in families where parental approval was a form of currency to be hoarded and distributed sparingly.
5/9: So much for getting my house cleaned up. It turns out Mother traveled here not to be judgmental about my housekeeping, but about my taste in men. The good news here is that Guy is such a major upgrade over my previous boyfriends. Also, coming from a family of police officers he knows how to deal with ranking superiors.
5/8: I got up at 4:00 a.m. and cleaned the house for two hours to prepare for Mother’s inspection. Then I drove over to the fast food place near the office to meet Guy at 7:00 after he finished his graveyard shift. I was shocked to find Mother already there; I wasn’t ready to introduce them yet.
5/7: I wish Facebook had a “It’s Complicated” option for relationships with specific close relatives. Anyway, at least she gave me some warning instead of showing up for one of her patented Surprise Inspections.
5/5: Of course this never really happened; it’s another product of the cartoonist’s imagination. I did discuss with him the strips with my Mother, though, which are all too true. I sometimes wish that if he was going to get this personal he might depict more of my non-work life, but he said it was important to keep the strip’s focus on the office setting. That makes sense, I guess.
4/26: Instead of issuing the collection of falsehoods that Ms. Trellis wanted, I created a press release that summed up the charity initiatives that Wendy has funded on behalf of the company. The press leaped on that. Fastrack, Inc. doing positive things for the community had a certain “man bites dog” quality, so that’s what got everyone’s attention.
4/ 25: Ms. Trellis does tend to combine us by referring to us as “Wendethany.” The main difference? Wendy gets to call her “Rose” while me and the rest of the world can only go by “Ms. Trellis.” I can only image the years of effort it took for Wendy to achieve that status.
4/24: Great. The reason Ms. Trellis wanted one of us to stay late was to help write a frauduent press release. Some unflattering reports about the company are coming out, and she wanted to spread falsehoods about the whistleblowers. I’ll have no part of that, and I’m sure Wendy wouldn’t either.
4/23: My job, of course, demands my presence during daylight hours so my internal nocturnal schedule has required some adjustment. Still, working at night comes easy for me so this shouldn’t be a problem.
4/17: The Mom Wall. Yes, I’ve erected one of my own on many an occasion. Since Patina isn’t going to listen to Wendy, it’s up to me to steer her away from this course of action. Once more I’m thrust into Big Sister mode which is unusual for me since I was the baby of my actual family.
This QR code should work, which leads to my Facebook page. Friend requests welcome! :) As for the actual creation of the image, James next door mows my lawn but this required special attention (which I created after sundown in deference to my pale skin.)
4/11: Yes, it’s that time of year. I opened up my coffin desk so that the obsolete tech encased inside doesn’t get dank and musty and full of cobwebs. (I prefer those elements for *my* living quarters.)
Fistula made her choice. It’s not the one I would’ve made, but it was her decision. Basically, she turned down an offer to be free of any interpersonal debt to me; no strings attached. However, she chose a path which will always have her looking over her shoulder at my intentions, wondering if I’ll ever use the knowledge of who was really responsible for uncovering the fraud. (Of course, I’ll never say anything; since she went this route it’s more valuable for me to keep it hanging over her head.) Sad, but I did all I could do.
4/7: Fistula is good at what she does; she might have found these eventually. I do believe, however, that we were in race in that Mr. Gypsum was busy trying to cover his tracks while we were on the hunt. I was just able to exhume the evidence before he could hide them.
4/6: It took some digging, but that’s what I’m good at. I don’t claim to be computer whiz on the scale of Bud and Chelonia, but I’ve just always had this instinctive ability to locate buried files and data. …And up popped Mr. Gypsum’s shell accounts.
4/5: We arrived at the branch office; seeing the manager that Ms. Trellis suspects of financial skullduggery. Interesting that he’s focused on me and my appearance and not the fact that his superior is investigating him. I suppose he’s pretty darn confident that we won’t find anything.
4/3: I never think that anyone is hopeless, so I’ll keep trying to discover some common ground with Fistula. By all accounts she’s good at what she does, despite her natural tendency toward antagonism.
4/2: Who knows why Fistula acts the way she does? Wendy confirmed that while she’s hostile toward everybody, she seems to bear a special antagonism for me. Of course, I’m used to that sort of thing, and I always try to win people over through my actions and behavior. This trip will be interesting.
4/1: Any tedious task can be made into a game; a spoonful of sugar and all that. I don’t think Mary Poppins had many piercings, but who knows what she was covering up under all that Victorian garb. (I’ll bet that making body art was yet another of Bert’s careers.)